no other else
Sunday, September 6, 2009 by hahaziq2 weeks has past but what have I done??
by hahaziqI'm not enjoying this year's Ramadhan and I meant it. I love Ramadhan. I really do. I want to go terawih can? Thats where I find peace for myself. Please.
Btw, this blog has been collecting dust for ages. Its not been updated since like weeks or month ago? Blame blogspot. Something wrong with it. Anw, its okay now but im going to have a new blog soon. Not blogspot. Got tired of it. Trying something new. New environment. Stay tuned.
P.s. I still couldn't forget what happened. I think I don't fit to be one. Figure out.
phuck
Tuesday, August 25, 2009 by hahaziq
Blogger is a kind of stopid now. I cant blog properly. Look at my font now. Cant change. phuck. If not for this shits, I could have blog about my current life, thoughts and everything that is mean under the sun. Thanks but phuck la.
by hahaziq
Blogger is a kind of stopid now. I cant blog properly. Look at my font now. Cant change. phuck. If not for this shits, I could have blog about my current life, thoughts and everything that is mean under the sun. Thanks but phuck la.
breathless
Saturday, July 25, 2009 by hahaziq
Yes, ambitious am I. But sometimes I feel like giving up. Feeling useless, breathless, sucky. I know you might think that I'm pressurizing you. You might be saying "who the hell are you to talk about this to me" to yourself. I've tried but is it enough? I know that...
ergh.. Theres alot of things running through my mind and heart. I want to do this, that or those.
Oh nevermind. No one fully understands me. I need alot of rest right now.
ergh.. Theres alot of things running through my mind and heart. I want to do this, that or those.
Oh nevermind. No one fully understands me. I need alot of rest right now.
Oh dear, I love you
Friday, July 17, 2009 by hahaziqBook in: Sunday, 12 July 2009
Book out: Tuesday, 14 July 2009
Book out: Tuesday, 14 July 2009
hahahahah... I'm on mc orh! 4 days of mc till the next book in. So practically i have 5 1/2 days out of camp including weekends. Cool or what. Thanks for the guy who had h1n1. Oh n, no mc without a valid reason right. I was down with a damn cough which is kind of irritating to me. Can't sleep well at night and keep waking up like every hour. Really irritating I tell you. Got tired of coughing and I went to report sick on Tuesday and they gave us mc straight away. Anyway, theres not much training for these week since we participated in passing out ceremony.
Haizzzzzz.. NS... Got no comments for NS. I wish for an OOC (out of course) but wishes are turned down. Now they are considering the OOC's and I hope they allow us to do so. I can't deny the fact that its a good course that I'm in now. Higher rank and higher pay (highest pay for NSF). BUT! It may not be a good course for me. I have planned for other avenues and I still wanted to follow that plan that I've set. For now, theres nothing I could do unless I could knock on prime minister door and complain about the NS system which I couldn't afford to do so in todays world. Enough said. I just continue where I left.And to you. My feelings for you have became stronger now. I just don't know why. Maybe feeling are meant to be unexplainable. Even tho its our 5th month, it feels like just yesterday that we got together. All those times that we spend together will never get enough for me. Our ups and down will always be remembered and I admit there were times that words just flew off my mouth without any thoughts for it. Its just me, sometimes my jokes speared into your heart but I didn't really meant it. I know I cant be mean sometimes but my intentions are as pure as my feelings.
Recently, I'm having thoughts of us getting separated but I just can't help it but to see you smile and accompany throughout every nights. I thought I'm not the right person for you but you thought otherwise. Maybe I've been thinking too much. Maybe I had a lot of things in my mind. My problems escalated and I just don't know what to do to make my situation better. You know what I'm talking about right. On the other hand, I still couldn't believe in the fairy tale that I'm in. Which is to be in a relationship. Its been a great 5 months of relationship and hope it never ends. =) I just hope we can make it through this big obstacle and remain strong as ever.
with love,
Haizzzzzz.. NS... Got no comments for NS. I wish for an OOC (out of course) but wishes are turned down. Now they are considering the OOC's and I hope they allow us to do so. I can't deny the fact that its a good course that I'm in now. Higher rank and higher pay (highest pay for NSF). BUT! It may not be a good course for me. I have planned for other avenues and I still wanted to follow that plan that I've set. For now, theres nothing I could do unless I could knock on prime minister door and complain about the NS system which I couldn't afford to do so in todays world. Enough said. I just continue where I left.And to you. My feelings for you have became stronger now. I just don't know why. Maybe feeling are meant to be unexplainable. Even tho its our 5th month, it feels like just yesterday that we got together. All those times that we spend together will never get enough for me. Our ups and down will always be remembered and I admit there were times that words just flew off my mouth without any thoughts for it. Its just me, sometimes my jokes speared into your heart but I didn't really meant it. I know I cant be mean sometimes but my intentions are as pure as my feelings.
Recently, I'm having thoughts of us getting separated but I just can't help it but to see you smile and accompany throughout every nights. I thought I'm not the right person for you but you thought otherwise. Maybe I've been thinking too much. Maybe I had a lot of things in my mind. My problems escalated and I just don't know what to do to make my situation better. You know what I'm talking about right. On the other hand, I still couldn't believe in the fairy tale that I'm in. Which is to be in a relationship. Its been a great 5 months of relationship and hope it never ends. =) I just hope we can make it through this big obstacle and remain strong as ever.
with love,
book in orh!
Sunday, July 5, 2009 by hahaziqIts been months since enlistment and the toughest training is yet to come. Its been quite an experience I shall say. Nobody loves national service. Especially the girlfriends. I don't even know what to do. I can never make her happy with me serving the nation.
I know you're having a tough times and you felt lonely at most of the nights. I told you that you could leave me if you want. I don't want you to feel lonely at times and I felt guilty for being this way. Sometimes my weekends will be burnt due to guard duty and it feels stupid that we can't spend time together for at least half the day during the whole week. I don't want you to feel lonely at times and I thought you could be happy with someone else. But you said No. You never want to leave me. You pleaded me not to mention that again. That has never crossed into your mind. You'll wait till my training days are over and working vocationally. Now I hope time will speed up.
Alot of things running thru my mind. From family stuff to NS stuff to my future and her. I was once taught by my bunk mate. If you come to a decision making. Think of what is the outcome, in terms of regret-ness. If I don't choose this choice, would I regret for not doing so? I'm not fully sure of this. Conclude for me.
Oh and dear please, I bet when you are reading this post of mine, you are using my laptop to do so. So don't give me excuses not to do your resume. Please do. I've downloaded for you some movies for your entertainment and songs to transfer. Go get a better job this time okay. =) Finger cross that I will not do guard duty next weekend. fcuk.
I know you're having a tough times and you felt lonely at most of the nights. I told you that you could leave me if you want. I don't want you to feel lonely at times and I felt guilty for being this way. Sometimes my weekends will be burnt due to guard duty and it feels stupid that we can't spend time together for at least half the day during the whole week. I don't want you to feel lonely at times and I thought you could be happy with someone else. But you said No. You never want to leave me. You pleaded me not to mention that again. That has never crossed into your mind. You'll wait till my training days are over and working vocationally. Now I hope time will speed up.
Alot of things running thru my mind. From family stuff to NS stuff to my future and her. I was once taught by my bunk mate. If you come to a decision making. Think of what is the outcome, in terms of regret-ness. If I don't choose this choice, would I regret for not doing so? I'm not fully sure of this. Conclude for me.
Oh and dear please, I bet when you are reading this post of mine, you are using my laptop to do so. So don't give me excuses not to do your resume. Please do. I've downloaded for you some movies for your entertainment and songs to transfer. Go get a better job this time okay. =) Finger cross that I will not do guard duty next weekend. fcuk.
charlie bouya!
Saturday, June 13, 2009 by hahaziqI MISS FAMILY
I MISS HOME
I MISS INTERNET
I MISS TELEVISION SHOWS
I MISS ONLINE MOVIES
I MISS MEETING MY FRIENDS
I MISS SOCCER
I MISS LONG PHONE CALLS
I MISS MESSAGING
I MISS MSN-ing
I MISS MY BED
I MISS HOME COOKED FOOD
I MISS FREEDOM
but on top of all, I MISS.....
I MISS INTERNET
I MISS TELEVISION SHOWS
I MISS ONLINE MOVIES
I MISS MEETING MY FRIENDS
I MISS SOCCER
I MISS LONG PHONE CALLS
I MISS MESSAGING
I MISS MSN-ing
I MISS MY BED
I MISS HOME COOKED FOOD
I MISS FREEDOM
but on top of all, I MISS.....
THIS!
Oh nevermind, endure for either 4 months or 7 months. Promise.
Oh nevermind, endure for either 4 months or 7 months. Promise.
Not ready, definitely
Sunday, June 7, 2009 by hahaziqTime flies so fast while waiting for enlistment especially a week before enlistment. Everyone enlisting will be spending their time mostly with their love one, be it their family, friends or their partners. I can say that my time is up and no more slacking around anymore, ever. Now, lets face it. Life has to get back to reality. Time to think for the future and so forth. Do we really have to do this? I'm trying to enjoy every single second while it last. I admit, I hate to do this. It makes me clueless what's best and what's right for me.
I'll be in camp and book in and out every week. Some say its a gateway for our unpredictable crazy world. We'll get a secured monthly pay (allowance, they call it) for the next two years and then, we are on our own. Two years could be a runaway from this economy crisis. With competitive job employment these days, two years could be what we need to have a better planned career. That's what I thought of. Unlike for me, two years is not what I was asked for. Five years, yes FIVE freaking years serving the nation. I don't know how I'm going to cope with that. I seriously don't know.
I just don't know whether I NEED to sign on. I emphasis the word 'Need'. Some issues that requires me to do so but I'm not prepared to do so. I want to continue studying and upgrade my education and skill but I don't want to drag it any longer like five more years then I start studying. I already know what I want to study and I've done a minor research on the area. I want to get it quick. Get a degree, a good job with a good pay and settle down early. I got a plan but its always interrupted and I'm scared to drag it any longer. Cause I know if I drag sooner or later, I won't have much time left. Yes, I'm thinking of that. I fear for that and it's my biggest fear of all time. Honestly, I've been thinking about it ever since during my secondary school days. We just don't know when it's coming. Only Allah knows.
Many question arises yet little answers known
I'll be in camp and book in and out every week. Some say its a gateway for our unpredictable crazy world. We'll get a secured monthly pay (allowance, they call it) for the next two years and then, we are on our own. Two years could be a runaway from this economy crisis. With competitive job employment these days, two years could be what we need to have a better planned career. That's what I thought of. Unlike for me, two years is not what I was asked for. Five years, yes FIVE freaking years serving the nation. I don't know how I'm going to cope with that. I seriously don't know.
I just don't know whether I NEED to sign on. I emphasis the word 'Need'. Some issues that requires me to do so but I'm not prepared to do so. I want to continue studying and upgrade my education and skill but I don't want to drag it any longer like five more years then I start studying. I already know what I want to study and I've done a minor research on the area. I want to get it quick. Get a degree, a good job with a good pay and settle down early. I got a plan but its always interrupted and I'm scared to drag it any longer. Cause I know if I drag sooner or later, I won't have much time left. Yes, I'm thinking of that. I fear for that and it's my biggest fear of all time. Honestly, I've been thinking about it ever since during my secondary school days. We just don't know when it's coming. Only Allah knows.
Many question arises yet little answers known
Erghhhhhhh
Monday, June 1, 2009 by hahaziqTell me God. Tell me Allah. I want to talk to you more. We all can't hide this anymore. I need your plan.
