cintaSofie ♥

no other else

2009-09-06T12:21:00.000+08:00

Like I said. Catch me elsewhere Im not using this anymore. Bbye.

2 weeks has past but what have I done??

2009-09-06T03:08:00.004+08:00

I'm not enjoying this year's Ramadhan and I meant it. I love Ramadhan. I really do. I want to go terawih can? Thats where I find peace for myself. Please.

Btw, this blog has been collecting dust for ages. Its not been updated since like weeks or month ago? Blame blogspot. Something wrong with it. Anw, its okay now but im going to have a new blog soon. Not blogspot. Got tired of it. Trying something new. New environment. Stay tuned.

P.s. I still couldn't forget what happened. I think I don't fit to be one. Figure out.

phuck

2009-08-25T21:53:00.001+08:00

Blogger is a kind of stopid now. I cant blog properly. Look at my font now. Cant change. phuck. If not for this shits, I could have blog about my current life, thoughts and everything that is mean under the sun. Thanks but phuck la.

2009-08-25T21:53:00.000+08:00

breathless

2009-07-25T23:38:00.006+08:00

Yes, ambitious am I. But sometimes I feel like giving up. Feeling useless, breathless, sucky. I know you might think that I'm pressurizing you. You might be saying "who the hell are you to talk about this to me" to yourself. I've tried but is it enough? I know that...

ergh.. Theres alot of things running through my mind and heart. I want to do this, that or those.

Oh nevermind. No one fully understands me. I need alot of rest right now.

Oh dear, I love you

2009-07-17T11:48:00.008+08:00

Book in: Sunday, 12 July 2009
Book out: Tuesday, 14 July 2009

hahahahah... I'm on mc orh! 4 days of mc till the next book in. So practically i have 5 1/2 days out of camp including weekends. Cool or what. Thanks for the guy who had h1n1. Oh n, no mc without a valid reason right. I was down with a damn cough which is kind of irritating to me. Can't sleep well at night and keep waking up like every hour. Really irritating I tell you. Got tired of coughing and I went to report sick on Tuesday and they gave us mc straight away. Anyway, theres not much training for these week since we participated in passing out ceremony.

Haizzzzzz.. NS... Got no comments for NS. I wish for an OOC (out of course) but wishes are turned down. Now they are considering the OOC's and I hope they allow us to do so. I can't deny the fact that its a good course that I'm in now. Higher rank and higher pay (highest pay for NSF). BUT! It may not be a good course for me. I have planned for other avenues and I still wanted to follow that plan that I've set. For now, theres nothing I could do unless I could knock on prime minister door and complain about the NS system which I couldn't afford to do so in todays world. Enough said. I just continue where I left.

And to you. My feelings for you have became stronger now. I just don't know why. Maybe feeling are meant to be unexplainable. Even tho its our 5th month, it feels like just yesterday that we got together. All those times that we spend together will never get enough for me. Our ups and down will always be remembered and I admit there were times that words just flew off my mouth without any thoughts for it. Its just me, sometimes my jokes speared into your heart but I didn't really meant it. I know I cant be mean sometimes but my intentions are as pure as my feelings.

Recently, I'm having thoughts of us getting separated but I just can't help it but to see you smile and accompany throughout every nights. I thought I'm not the right person for you but you thought otherwise. Maybe I've been thinking too much. Maybe I had a lot of things in my mind. My problems escalated and I just don't know what to do to make my situation better. You know what I'm talking about right. On the other hand, I still couldn't believe in the fairy tale that I'm in. Which is to be in a relationship. Its been a great 5 months of relationship and hope it never ends. =) I just hope we can make it through this big obstacle and remain strong as ever.

with love,

book in orh!

2009-07-05T12:46:00.006+08:00

Its been months since enlistment and the toughest training is yet to come. Its been quite an experience I shall say. Nobody loves national service. Especially the girlfriends. I don't even know what to do. I can never make her happy with me serving the nation.

I know you're having a tough times and you felt lonely at most of the nights. I told you that you could leave me if you want. I don't want you to feel lonely at times and I felt guilty for being this way. Sometimes my weekends will be burnt due to guard duty and it feels stupid that we can't spend time together for at least half the day during the whole week. I don't want you to feel lonely at times and I thought you could be happy with someone else. But you said No. You never want to leave me. You pleaded me not to mention that again. That has never crossed into your mind. You'll wait till my training days are over and working vocationally. Now I hope time will speed up.

Alot of things running thru my mind. From family stuff to NS stuff to my future and her. I was once taught by my bunk mate. If you come to a decision making. Think of what is the outcome, in terms of regret-ness. If I don't choose this choice, would I regret for not doing so? I'm not fully sure of this. Conclude for me.

Oh and dear please, I bet when you are reading this post of mine, you are using my laptop to do so. So don't give me excuses not to do your resume. Please do. I've downloaded for you some movies for your entertainment and songs to transfer. Go get a better job this time okay. =) Finger cross that I will not do guard duty next weekend. fcuk.

charlie bouya!

2009-06-13T12:29:00.005+08:00

I MISS FAMILY

I MISS HOME
I MISS INTERNET
I MISS TELEVISION SHOWS
I MISS ONLINE MOVIES
I MISS MEETING MY FRIENDS
I MISS SOCCER
I MISS LONG PHONE CALLS
I MISS MESSAGING
I MISS MSN-ing
I MISS MY BED
I MISS HOME COOKED FOOD
I MISS FREEDOM

but on top of all, I MISS.....

THIS!

Oh nevermind, endure for either 4 months or 7 months. Promise.

Not ready, definitely

2009-06-07T00:44:00.002+08:00

Time flies so fast while waiting for enlistment especially a week before enlistment. Everyone enlisting will be spending their time mostly with their love one, be it their family, friends or their partners. I can say that my time is up and no more slacking around anymore, ever. Now, lets face it. Life has to get back to reality. Time to think for the future and so forth. Do we really have to do this? I'm trying to enjoy every single second while it last. I admit, I hate to do this. It makes me clueless what's best and what's right for me.

I'll be in camp and book in and out every week. Some say its a gateway for our unpredictable crazy world. We'll get a secured monthly pay (allowance, they call it) for the next two years and then, we are on our own. Two years could be a runaway from this economy crisis. With competitive job employment these days, two years could be what we need to have a better planned career. That's what I thought of. Unlike for me, two years is not what I was asked for. Five years, yes FIVE freaking years serving the nation. I don't know how I'm going to cope with that. I seriously don't know.

I just don't know whether I NEED to sign on. I emphasis the word 'Need'. Some issues that requires me to do so but I'm not prepared to do so. I want to continue studying and upgrade my education and skill but I don't want to drag it any longer like five more years then I start studying. I already know what I want to study and I've done a minor research on the area. I want to get it quick. Get a degree, a good job with a good pay and settle down early. I got a plan but its always interrupted and I'm scared to drag it any longer. Cause I know if I drag sooner or later, I won't have much time left. Yes, I'm thinking of that. I fear for that and it's my biggest fear of all time. Honestly, I've been thinking about it ever since during my secondary school days. We just don't know when it's coming. Only Allah knows.

Many question arises yet little answers known

Erghhhhhhh

2009-06-01T23:09:00.004+08:00

Tell me God. Tell me Allah. I want to talk to you more. We all can't hide this anymore. I need your plan.

a moment of truth

2009-05-27T00:16:00.004+08:00

The truth was out. I know it hurts cause you never expected such words flying towards you. I told you that its going to hurt you somehow but I had to let it out cause I don't think I can hold it any longer. And yes, I seek advice from various parts of my circle of friends on how to deal with different situation. I think I know how to handle this relationship. From now on, let me try on my own okay guys. I don't need any advice anymore [yet].

Things will be alright. Like what we had talked. I hoped my nation serving time will serve you a purpose as well. Killing two birds with a stone. I'm sure you can make it cause in my eyes, you're stronger now. Even tho not to the level I expected, you're really different from the time we used to have arguments almost every week. You tend to give in to such situation these days and I really appreciate that. No kidding.

Again. I want our ties to work out. Just stay strong and optimist. Nothing can break our ties apart. You'll be Sarah, I'll be Michael and we'll make a new era. =DDDDDDDDDD~

end of a remarkable journey

2009-05-21T15:04:00.006+08:00

NOH! Kau mcm S**K tk datang. but still 4 of us are still remembered la. When four of us combined, the world seems to be one-sided. (mcm phm nyer budak).

Okay 1 thing. I want to thank Rahiman aka Man Scofield (which is on the right) for being my private secretary for 3 years in TP. You reminded me of those exam schedules, what are the topics to study, class/lab/tut location, reminding me of those submission, and etc. Thank you very much. I could have never wish for a better service from you. You make me realised that you are the most important person in my entire poly life. Unfortunately, your service is not needed anymore. I wish you all the best while waiting for NS. May the force be with you. Wahahahahahahahahaah!

The expression of a graduand. Yes. 3 years seems so fast and I wished it started all over again. Right from the first freshman orientation day. Mixed emotion were felt, filled with those laughing, all those friends that I made and not to forget the laptop interrogation case =X One thing I regret, which is, I didn't study properly. Too much playtime. But who cares, a diploma is still a diploma. In the end, the cert is all that matters =)

Okay, as requested. You wanted me to talk about it. Okay I shall do it alright. Sweet guy I know. Okay, I admit she's (the one on the middle in the first photo) the first crush in poly and the first person I hang out with. hahaha. She's always the one who I disturbed and the one I enjoy disturbing. hahah! Yeah. It was a nice friendship with you. Just hope to hear some great news from you alright. I just don't know what to say, so mind me. =)

p.s. man, aku memain jer =) kite selalu memain ngan kau. lol! but I still cannot forget the day I was being scolded. haha. you know what I mean.

LOL!

2009-05-21T07:26:00.002+08:00

One word. Hilarious. hahahaha!

About me

2009-05-19T00:41:00.001+08:00

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

A spot on I shall say. I'm just clueless how a simple quiz would end up finding my true colors. bahhhh~

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

our nostalgia/memory box

2009-05-17T13:31:00.002+08:00

The final piece. (At least). Still need to put in more arty farty.

sms chatting

2009-05-17T04:09:00.005+08:00

ME: Nant I da masok ns mcmaner. U mostly haf to kol i tau. I tkder telepon rumah =) (what will happen if i enter ns? You have to do the callings to me. I don't have home phones)

HER: Den I tkya kol u la. (if thats the case, then I don't need to call you la)

ME: E'eh. tkya kol i plak. tknk bobal ngan i ke bile masok camp? (What you mean you don't need to call me? You mean you don't want to talk to me when I'm in camp?)

HER: entah. tgk ar klau i rindu u ke tk. (I don't know. Let me see if i miss you or not)

Tell me, what do you feel. The last sentence really shot me down and with that sentence, I doubt her commitment in us. I asked if she really want to be with me and shes hurt by that question. Hoho. Look who's hurting who right now.

one wish

2009-05-13T15:15:00.009+08:00

If only I had one wish, it would be requesting a talk session with Allah. I want to know why is all these happening now. I just don't understand his plan.

Yes, sometimes I'm such an egoistic person who wants everything to be my way. But I figured it out, its for our own good. Most importantly for your own good. I want you to be happy with your surroundings even when I'm not around. I just want to feel appreciated and needed. I don't want to keep quiet on this frustration problem till like what, a year later? Whats more when I'm mostly out of your sights for at least 9 months.

I guess you are right. Its been long since I have a relationship from this one. Which is why trying to understand the other party whom just came into my life seems so complicated. Because all these while the other party never exist before.

mood swing

2009-05-13T01:59:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I felt dejected. Dejected after how you treated/talked to me. Why can't you just be optimistic? Look on the bright sight will you? I just wonder if you are happy when I contacted you or made a phone call with you. You don't sound happy and talk as if I'm your worst ex ever. You sound boring with me and in no mood to talk. I'm always smiling when I said hello or greet you on the phone but after hearing your tone, I feel dishearten. I'm serious. Which bf doesn't feel that way when he hears her gf in no mood to talk even after waves and waves of cheering up? That bf will end up nothing to talk about and low in morale and end up being frustrated. Seriously, I'm not a punching bag where you can express your mood party. I too have feelings. Why always the 'no mood' thing kicks in when I'm with you? Why? Is it me or what?

Please. Just please don't think negative and stay optimist. When I said communication is important, I really mean it. I'm the type of person who loves to engage into conversations and talking. I got a question for you. Do you treasure me? Then where is your effort in us?

We live in a world where decisions have to be made.

2009-05-12T00:31:00.005+08:00

9 June 2009 will be the WTF day for me. Yes its 28 more days before I'm serving the nation. This leaves me with less than a month for total freedom. This leaves me with a big responsibility and burdens on my shoulder in the near future. I have to sort out alot of stuff and its important that I made the right move. A move that will end up being victorious or worst, a downfall which could end up being booed by people. I can bet most of the people doesn't like making important decisions in their life. "What if this happen? What does it lead to? and etc..." Many doubts arises and eventually we have to face the music/consequences for our own actions. Some of us feel that life is miserable. Some say its an enjoyable journey. While others say, life can be such a bitch. All those emotions started from us. We are who we are. We made our life that way. We make it happen. I believe that we are the victim for our own actions. Sometimes I do wish that I want to be like someone else yet I also want to be myself. Only me can suits me well.

I think kids nowdays are pampered. I don't deny the fact that I too sometimes feel that way. Just take a look at something nearer to us. Education. Sometimes we took education for granted until we failed or doesn't meet to the standards. And what do we do next? Take things easy. Blame ourselves yet don't have any sense of direction in life. In my opinion, I think that we just don't realise how much it could affect us in the future. We have no sense of awareness of current and the future world. Take a look at those older people who are taking the education. They took it seriously cause they know it would benefit them. They've seen the real world outside and they know what it takes to bring them a class higher. Only if we are exposed to the real world. We just need to be hit by some crisis and we are done.

Okay you might think that I'm being for real here. But this is just what I thought of. I have the right to say anything here. This is my opinions and my decision. I stand to this principle. "A wise man is a person who thinks for the future." This came from a Islamic saying that "A wise man is a person who thinks for his own death".Don't be offended and I'm not here to sorry neither.

movies to my list

2009-05-09T00:38:00.004+08:00

I need to watch these movies ! (and more)

Philips Xenium 9@9q

2009-05-08T23:12:00.003+08:00

Remember I mentioned a few post below that I'm going to get a new phone for my mum? Oh well, its going to be a perfect timing since this Sunday will be Mothers Day and I bought for her something. Went out with my gb (yeah its gb haha) to get my mum's phone and I love it myself. Actually she wanted the 7-11 Samsung b300 phone which cost 85 bucks but I feel that its not that nice. So we decided to search for a better one during the day. Seriously, its a normal phone but the designs are phucking great. Philip brand. Yeah I know, sounds uncool and unglam but wait till you see the phone below. Just hope that she like it. If not I'll just give it to my gb. heeee.. (Hopefully my mum loves it. inside joke. hahahaah)

just a conversation

2009-05-07T23:43:00.002+08:00

Was chatting with a friend of mine whose boyfriend is in Civil Defence. I'm about to enter the same stage of relationship like that. Yeah I'm abit worried now. Insyallah we can cope with it.

ahhhhh.. Mansory GT Speed [!]

2009-05-07T00:18:00.005+08:00

Family giving me a green light for a car for me but on a condition. A simple condition that I can afford to fulfill. I'm smelling something fishy over here. I'm not that naive. Anyway, this car thing getting me excited. To make myself happy, these car below are what I drool over.

if only we can have these type of car

Hyundai i30 i think haha .looks sporty, i loike =)

The type I really want but rarely I've seen this on the roads. The normal Mini Coopers are common to be seen around but not this one. *drools*

Honda Edix. The least I could dream of =)

Mansory GT Speed, my ultimate dream. Just look how sleeq it is made my heart go ohlala.

Okay, I'm dreaming a lot over here. But its alright to dream sometimes right? hahah.. At least thinking of these make me feel better. Just see. Its costly. Not only the car itself, but the oil, parking and ERP. Yeah. At times I rented some cars and its already killing me. bahhhhh~

sources: www.automobilesreview.com/.../11012/ (eksen aje)

hiccups came along

2009-05-07T00:09:00.002+08:00

I guess I too have my limits. Before this, I thought I will have no problem since I'm such a patient person but you really take me to the test. (of the hiccups we had last night) I came across this sentence saying that women are strange. We, being the males, loves women a lot be it strange or not and I'm no different from them. I love you, Sofie. My one and only. =)

The Origins

2009-05-05T09:28:00.003+08:00

I heard the X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie wasn't great as expected. A bore movie in theater currently. Thats what I heard. I have not watch it but I'm planning to. Let me check my wallet first oriteys. heeeeeeeee~

will be a crisis

2009-04-30T00:21:00.006+08:00

I always thought that it could never happen to my family. But well, it did. I prayed for you sister. No one shall do that to you. If it goes worst, I'll react. I might be quiet at times and act like as if I don't know anything but I do have feelings. I don't want you to carry all the burden.

love lockdown

2009-04-29T23:46:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I do wonder hows my life currently and in the past. What I've done in the past took effect now and I'm feeling the effect. Sometimes I do wonder if I really have friends to hang out with (apart from my special someone). Its not that I don't have friends but a hang out friends where we used to chill out every weekend. To be honest I have alot of friends in school and outside of school but most of them are hi-bye friends. I was told that "Its not how many friends you have. What matters most is how many bestfriend you have with you". I still stand to that principle. Define for me bestfriend please.

All I can describe about me is that I have a split personality. There are times where I can be plain and dull but there are also times where I can be such a random person. To be exact, non-social and such a social person. Hmmm. It takes you a while to understand how my life works.

I think being lazy made my life in this way. I hate being lazy. I think I was born to be a lazy person. You know something. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a postman. Why? Cause the job is quite easy. Cause I'm lazy to work.

A secret

2009-04-27T02:38:00.003+08:00

Before I'm going to serve the nation. I'm getting my mum a new phone. My mum is going through alot of problem lately. Shes been talking to me about her personal problem and I feel that she deserved to be appreciated in the family after what she has gone through. Shes the only person that I'm closed with in the family and I hope I could make her happy by getting her a new phone. She's been wanting a new phone since long time ago and its about time till I got her something. Shes been secretly understanding my current life and I think she knows the things I'm going through. It hurts to see her shed some tears and I hope that I could turn things around in the near future. I Love You, mum.

kilat sabong menyabong

2009-04-26T22:32:00.009+08:00

Keadaan semakin rusing. Aku tidak tahu apa yang telah terjadi. Hatiku sakit dan terluka sebagaimana perkara ini berlaku begitu cepat sekali seperti kilat yang sedang sabong menyabong. Adakah ini semua salahku? Atau ini semua suatu permainan bagiku? Aku telah berikan semua yang aku mampu; masa dan kesabaran. Tetapi adakah ini balasan yang aku harus diterima? Aku tidak ingin perkara ini semua berlaku kerana aku telah banyak menghadapi cabaran di dalam hidupku. Aku ingin seseorang yang memahami diriku dan menolak diriku ke tahap maksima. Aku hanya inginkan kebahgiaan. Sesungguhnya kebahgiaan itu sukar untuk ditahani. Aku harap semua keadaan akan diselesaikan sebaik mungkin. Aku mahu kembali kepada asalnya. Aku harap keadaan semakin cerah bagi kami dan kembali kepada kebahgiaan yang kami impikan. Insyallah.

aku cinta kamu

OWTF!

2009-04-25T12:34:00.003+08:00

There he was. Finding a place to indulge himself with Nasi Briyani that he just bought. Settled on a place where its quite cooling and quiet. The appetite to have his lunch on a hot hot afternoon was so temptation and its about time to enjoy the food that he craving for. While opening the packet of Nasi Briyani, the smell of Nasi Briyani was so deliciously heaven, thus, his appetite grew to a much greater heights. Looking at the Briyani and comtemplating where should he start his luch first. Is it the chicken or is it the rice? Having his first scoop of rice in his hands and munch it in his mouth. Oh-so-heavenly feeling to have his lunch so peacefully without anybody disturbing him. Having a sip of condensed rose who accompanied him having his lunch and continueing the food that he paused for a moment. He sat safe and soundly and have his second and third scoop of the rice. While munching on the food, he saw something amiss. Theres a black figure in the food. A 2 cm long and relatively small yet noticeable to him. He pulled it out of the food and picked with his hands. He was thinking positively and thought it was just some ingredients of the food. A secret ingredient he thought. But nooo. It has legs and have lines on it. OWTF! Its a freaking worm! Take a deep breathe and swallow unwillingly on the food that still munching in his mouth.

to be continued....

i want nobody but you!

2009-04-23T22:58:00.007+08:00

Okay. I'm sure you people are familiar with this music but I'm sure not the video that I found. No, I didn't literally search for the song and found it but I watch it since one of my friends post (or whatever) on facebook. So yeah, have fun saying OMG. =)

Okay funny siah. I find the boy in the front centre at 0:53 is soo semangat nak mampos. I ke pt observing him throughout the whole video. hahaha.. Look for 3:37 when he moves to the centre of the whole performance or sumthink and look how he dances afterwards. I bet he feels like orgasm while dancing hahaha! Okay enough. I know I like to criticise (how do i spell it?) alot.

Okay when I don't want a job, theres several jobs offered to me. Crocs la, robinson la, gramaphone la. Tsk. Waste my time looking for job the other time. Gramaphone called this evening for a job interview but I can't! Cause I'm going NS in 7 weeks time. Ergh. But nvm, singlish say, faster go in, faster go out. Ermmm. It sounds wrong. Wahahaha!

Now what I want to do is to enjoy my time now. Especially with her. At some point of time, I remind her of the weeks left before I went in but she told me not to remind her cause she will miss me much. Who doesn't right? I have to admit but me too will miss her lots. I just worried if anything happen to her and have no one to turn to. But I trusted her. Just don't disappoint me. Nah, I remain positive about this. =)

Okay I don't know why but my natural gas seems a wee bit smelly tonight/now. Wahahahaahaha!

i apologise

2009-04-22T01:21:00.005+08:00

Recently a friend asked me. We were talking about relationship cause the other party was having trouble in it. I was asked. What it takes for a relationship to last? My answer was understanding sacrifice and communication. But these 3 big word are hard to accomplished especially sacrifice. Sometimes our heart is not open for certain newer things and we wanted to settle the way it is.

Okay I'm out of words now. YOU understand why. I just love you so much that I always want to be by your side all the time. I always thought that I could lose you anytime cause I've seen people done that instantaneous and I don't want it happen to us. Maybe its my fault cause, frankly speaking, I've never been in such a relationship and it work out expect love wonders immediately. I think there is a reason behind our relationship and only Allah knows what it is.

I Love You Sofie and I will always remain loving you. Every single moment we spent together, every single thing we did, will always be cherished and remembered. Lets stay on this way and make me yours as what we promised.

the one who made me fall and never feel like going up again

I've got the power!

2009-04-13T07:10:00.009+08:00

Its definitely great to be back playing balls. After around 2 weeks of not playing, it feels like having orgasm. oh yeah babay! hahaha! A week of not playing is long to me and whats 2 weeks of not playing? Super duper long eyyy.. Okay seriously, I'm blogging cause its almost a week since I've blog. But what keeps me away from blogging? Let me see... Apart from spending my time with her, finding a good movie to watch, finding a new beg and playing cards, I'm just plain lazy (like who doesn't right?) and feels that theres other interesting things to do on the internet.

Anyways, big news! When you got to go, you got to go. I find it strange that I'm getting sexcited to get enlisted. Yeah, that government called and my time is due to serve them. What else could we, young fcuking hot males doing other than to serve this nation's ai? Serve NS la deyyy.. I can't imagine myself with short hair. My style need fringe obviously and when I don't, I look like one robocop with its shiny forehead. Bleargh.. Sucks.. Why do I need to cut hair? Can't we just wear headbands or something? hahahha! Shitty dickhead. (okay, im getting unreasonable here).

Another note, gf worried I'll becoming a matrep once I start serving NS. Shes trying to be funny isit? Me no matreps eh. Whoever calls me matreps mintak kene pukol. Lu ada paham tak? Ok fine, this matrep tk jadik nyer. Some of my friends knows me inside out so its a big joke IF I becoming one. But I fancy matreps, esp minah reps. hahahh! Kidding larh! Next topic please.

Family issues. Hmmmm.. Complicated as always. Parents and siblings are putting the responsibility to me. The last man in the family. Yes, and it has to do with me serving the nation. Fore and foremost, MONEY is the root of all problem. Another dickhead coming out. Bleargh.. I think I'm done with blogging for this post. Timecheck 0735. Yeah morning. I'm thinking of doing something right now. Should I or shouldn't I? Oh and A warm morning to you people. I'm sure you people are reading this in the afternoon or in the middle of the night. Wait, who reads my blog?

This is how I look like when I got only 10 minutes to get ready for madrasah :P

ohsolovely <3

p.s. If you people wondering where I posted to, you could easily find out, starting from this very hottest blog. If you're smart enough that is. :P Sorry to those people if there are Malay words before this. Tak heran ah! haahahaha! K stop it amirhaziq.

random i noe

2009-04-07T00:13:00.005+08:00

I just love these two bunch of kens. All of us are in different path in life but yet we'll stick together no matter what. We'll grow old together okay.

And this girl right there. ♥ you muchos. My sweetest drug. I won't forget those promises we made. Oriteys bebeh =)

always a victim

2009-04-06T20:06:00.004+08:00

I feel lonely. Everywhere I go I would feel like a victim.

Where are you when I need you the most??

maybe its just me

2009-04-06T17:20:00.005+08:00

maybe i've been thinking too much
maybe i expect wonders to happen instantly
maybe i'm just being ambitious

maybe its just me

being me is hard. nothing special. nothing special about me
i need someone to bring me to life
i need you and your support,
your words to make me happy

make me smile
make me laugh like i used to
make me joke around without any concerns
make me live my life to the fullest

i need you cause i just do

like great like that

2009-04-06T16:46:00.004+08:00

ergh. i hate my curent life. except my life with her of coz.. I feel like going down, down and down below until no one hears me. no one ever knows me. no one ever wants to talk to me. life a bitch. endure it. and the house getting quieter these days. oh great. baguuuuuusssss -.-

p.s.

2009-04-02T22:57:00.006+08:00

I'm sorry if I couldn't cheer you up
I'm sorry for making your mood down
I'm sorry for how I reacted that moment

I tried to cheer you up but to no avail. I know how you wished that I could cheer you up and make you smile when you're down. I suck in cheering people up cause I just suck. Call me sucky, call me plain and I think I deserved it. All I want is to see you smile and be happy. I want us to have a deeper conversation and talked freely without holding anything back. I just want you to smile. Smile with all your heart. I just want you to. Cause your smile is my smile and your heart is my heart. Deep down inside me, I'm trying my best not to bring your mood down. I'm trying cause I want to be with you always and be the one that you need.

p.s. I love you till the end

sacrifice

2009-03-31T13:19:00.008+08:00

I do wonder about my life at this very moment. Its full of surprises. Things could change in a split seconds and next thing I know, I'm in such a situation. Life options are plenty but decision took only once. For all we know, this is not the life that we heading to. So why not risk it since this isn't the life we aiming for? Its complicated as always. Life with decisions and challenge could make a person vulnerable. One move could be proved as a mistake but it could show how good you are in making a decision. But whats life without a plan. Alternative plan to be exact, not a backup plan. Backup plan is when the current plan fails, therefore switching to another plan. We don't want to change until it happens. This is not how we wanted. We have to react before it happens. Be alert and know the things around you. Thus, like I said, there must be an alternative plan.

Sometimes there must have a mindset of 'What ifs'. What if this happen? What if that happen? Am I prepared for a change? Is the alternative plan already well planned? Will the alternative plan work? How long does it take to change to the alternative plan? Is the alternative plan as fruitful as the current plan? Living in this modern world, we must be on our toes and get ourselves ready for a change. Life is unpredictable these days. On top of all, one particular attitude should exist. We need that in life and you can find it the title of this post.

Day 3

2009-03-29T16:47:00.001+08:00

Anyway, I'm still on job hunting. I think that I have to open the options of working FnB. Yeah, I'm not interested in that line but since if theres no other options, I have to pick that. Anyway, I'm still waiting for other jobs. Ikea, courrier driver and erm others that I have not yet call but I do have job places in mind. heeee~ I wanted to work in borders as I find that its an interesting job to me. Just don't ask me why cause I don't even know the reason is. Anyway, their employment freezes due to youknowthereasonis. On other hand, working in office? Let me take a look at it again.

I can say that life is quite different when shes not around. I'm missing my other half and I realised that her existance makes alot of difference in my life. Oh wells. Just hope shes doing fine now and enjoying her holiday there. Oh you know something? I have never been tired of missing her =)

the meanest dream

2009-03-29T16:06:00.003+08:00

It was the worst dream I could have asked for. The only thing I wish is that it will never happen in life. Unfortunately it will happen one day. I believe its coming and its drawing nearer each every day. I fear for that. Please, I don't want it to happen for now at least. Is that a sign or something? Give me time to settle down and let it happen peacefully. I'm scared. Who doesn't?

youandmearelove

2009-03-26T00:57:00.004+08:00

roses are red, violets are blue
when you're gone, i'll miss you

you make me smile, you make me joy
please tell me im your favourite boy

i miss your voice, i miss your loving care
and we are the greatest pair

i miss your kiss, i miss your touch
i'm sure im going to miss you very much

when you are gone, when you are in overseas
jangan tengok other lelaki's!

2009-03-26T00:40:00.004+08:00

I'm getting lazier and lazier to blog nowdays and this is due to being outside most of the time. Spending my time with my friends and her =) So far our relationship ties are good and now I feel that she's the one for me. I realised that we have a lot of things in common but I don't know that if she realised this. Oh wells, we need each other more than we need ourselves. heeee~

Okay2. Enough of this lovey dovey talk alright. I know some of you feel annoyed or whatever. So shes leaving on Friday right after graduation night. Seriously, she badly want to go to the grad night. The grad night is on Thursday night and shes leaving overseas on Friday morning. -.- Melayu says 'Sanggop seiii' hahaha.. Nevermind. I'll sneak in and meet her after graduation finishes and spend some time before she goes off. This is the part where I get jelous. Why? Cause shes going on a shopping spree and taking an aeroplane. YeahYeah, I never been into an aeroplane before. I know. I know. bleargh..

Anyway, I'm thinking of accepting a job recently. Cashiering. People, I hate being cashier. I always think they are the most busiest job during peak period and being me, I'll get 'kanchong' and clueless seeing long queues. Please people, I want other job can? If theres no other choice, I'll just take the cashiering job. Ergh...

FASTER COME!

2009-03-23T12:59:00.009+08:00

I need a job right away. Now. Yes now la gundu. I've done nothing better than meeting her. Since we both a fan of food, we tend to have our breakfast/lunch/dinner outside =) I've been slacking here and there like someone who has no future. I've got a target for my savings which is to hit a limit of 1K in the bank and no lesser than that. But nevertheless, hmm nevermind. bahhh~ Can someone help me with this? I need to earn some cost I need to lose some. nyahhhh!

Work it. Earn it. Bank in.
=)

timecheck 0731

2009-03-19T07:28:00.004+08:00

For all this while, I thought I have a hack-care attitude and don't care of what people says about me but I started to learn myself more. I realise that I have a sense of sensitivity and demand to be respected. Hate it when people took advantage of me.

Every words uttered will be remembered. Good or Bad. I will.

sometimes sucky happens

2009-03-19T00:18:00.005+08:00

How I wish I can read people's minds and thoughts. In such situation where I don't know what's happening or how to react, its best if I know what is the person thinking about. I just to make them feel better. I don't like to make people's life difficult or uneasy. I would do anything to make them happy and joyous.

a month later

2009-03-16T00:07:00.013+08:00

Yesterday was our 1 month into relationship. Yeah I know, just 1 month. Big deal for some of you people. But its been an exciting journey for us. I know. We've been meeting each other almost everyday and rarely been out of our own sights. Anyway, I was really touched that she gave me a card with some paragraph, pictures and our name on to it. I really appreciate it damn a lot and below is what she wrote. While below2 is my reply.

To my best boyfrend ever,

I juz have 3 simple words to say:

I LOVE YOU !!

Eventho it has only been 1 month, I believe that we can last longer. I'm really glad tht I have you in my life. I hope that we would stay 2gether no matter what happens k...

From your hunnn~

To my greatest girlfriend ever,

I'm sorry I know I've been kind selfish sometimes and I know that I have not given you anything since the day we got together. I'm aware of that and I just don't know what to do. I'm really new into relationship and never been in such situation ever before but please bear in mind that I want our relationship to blossom and I'm working hard on it. I'm setting up the do's and don'ts in relationship. I might not have a bike or a car like other guys do and I know how you wish that I had one. The thoughts of going anywhere and anytime would be fantastic for us but unfortunately I'm no other guy like them.

But I tell you something, I don't care if I have vehicle or not. All that matters to me most is that I got to spend my time with you. Now my heart beats for you and it will go on cause you're part of me now. Every hour, every minutes and every seconds being with you means a lot to me and how I wish I could have never said goodnight or goodbye everytime we went apart.

On top of all, you are really my best girlfriend and I will never let you out of my reach. I'm trying to make our relationship the greatest one and I'm glad that I found you to be on my side and to be mine instead. We'll make a great team you know.

I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND,
MY OTHER HALF

From your best boyfrend~

under construction yaw

2009-03-15T01:05:00.001+08:00

its still under construction. wait a little longer ok kids

come april come!

2009-03-13T20:22:00.011+08:00

MAK BAPAK!
HAZIQ DAH NAK GRADUATE NI!
yahooooo~!
So much for the stress couple weeks ago. So much for the worry-ness couple weeks ago. Now its all cleared up. Thank god, its happening.

whole new ball game

2009-03-08T19:10:00.002+08:00

Ok whats next after school? Do I get my diploma or not? Do I need to work or just slack around which works wonderful for me? I do wonder about it now. Working as part time and office really makes a different. Hmmmm..

Nevermind. For temporary, I want to have rest like theres no other day. Things to do:

Wake up late till afternoon
Catch up with all the movies that I've been missing
Find a job if possible
Save hell lot of money. I think I overspent in previous days
Catch up with my friends. Been missin them since attachments
Play BALLS!
Go jog every week
Get myself trained in the gym. [hahahah]
Find new songs and update my old playlist mp3
Spend more time at home [this would be easier since Im not working]
Thinking if I'm going to sign up bond with the police
Watch movie with my friends
Go shisha or whatever it spells
LEPAK!

AND

SPEND TIME WITH MY SWEETHEART!

before you go overseas =(

don't you know that I miss you already?

[ its been 3 hours since I last seen you =) ]

so long and sweet goodbye~

2009-03-07T01:11:00.008+08:00

Didnt I tell you that I love 6 of March? Its the last day of my 35 weeks of internship. I tell you, its a sense of relieve when I step out of the premises thinking that I will never step into the company again. hahah! Ok, I gained alot of experience while working there. Especially office politics. Its the worst of all when your a target for no reason. Well, im not talking about me at least but this lady being targetted for no reasons. Its been a rollercoaster ride for me, especially for the last few weeks. Its damn pressurising when you have to complete the work within few weeks and even not knowing how to do a single thing. Luckly I had my own ways to complete it but still I've yet to know if I passed my project or not. The company passed me, but it depends on school if they satisfied with 'my' work. Ok lets don't talk about my work. Lets talk about other things happen in the company. hahha!

Well, I was quite blushed when this makcik told me this. I had my lunch and I think I was alone or with my partner, cant remember. So yeah, this makcik as at my side and say hi to me. And you know what she said? "Handsome eh" and smile and me. hahahaahhah! Makcik siahhhhhh nii.. I quickly walk away and being embarassed with wat she said.

Anyway, on my last day, I left on mixed feelings. Was quite sad when I had to leave my colleagues especially those who are quite close to me. We had this bond where we could talk about most of our problems and situation even though we seldom talk. Its quite sad that they have to work with 1 less friend and I know how they feel cause I felt it too previous time where my coursemate leave the company first. Most of them was kind of happy since I'm not working in the terrible place anymore. hahah! Ok the farewell thing lasted quite long talking to people here and there. Its like im working there for like few years haahah.. Some staff telling me to continue working there but Noooo! And my deparment invited me for a farewell dinner to those who left the company recently.

them: Can you pass me your number? We wanted to invite you to farewell dinner
me: Okay. where the dinner is?
them: oh its at carousel. hotel. dont worry, its halal (idk if thats what i heard is correct. so anw, read the next few line)
me: erm. okay.. if its halal, you'll get to see me there. hahaha..

when I heard its halal, my heart and brain went totally on and say 'Lets Go bebeh!' hahaha.. If its not halal then its not my fault, she said halal alrd and if its not halal tell me after I ate it and sleep. Anyway, thinking if i could bring my hunnn~ along. Number 1 fan for food. hahha!

get well soon hunn

2009-03-04T14:26:00.008+08:00

Oh I forget. Uu! Get well soon okay! Before Saturday please.... Take medicine, sleep well, eat well or whatever makes you feel better.. If you need me, call me, text me, nugde me or wat. I'm always there for you. heee~ I want to spend my time with you laaaa :D*smile*

jacket and happy memories

2009-03-04T13:44:00.005+08:00

I'm sorry. Ive done some things that upsets you. I don't know it affects you in a way. Its not that I don't want to tell you but I'm scared that you have a different perceptions on me. Alright, next time round, I'll make sure I won't repeat again, ok hunn? Now I started to learn the deeper side of you, making our ties a better and invincible.

We always had our lovely times together and the more I spend my time with you, the more I need you. Sofie, those moments seems wonderful to me and I've never knew how great the feeling is until February 14 2009. You make it happen and I'm grateful that I found you.

Okay, Im blogging cause its been quite some times that I blog. And I'm connected to a different network/department which means that I can surf any websites including facebook or whatever shits. Even porn. hahaha. Nah, porn are for losers. :) Theres this saying about porn-losers but I forgot what it is. I'll let you know it if I remembers it. :)

Anyway, I want to get that jacket from Cotton On no matter what! That $12.50 jacket with a hood. Nice laaaa.. Saturday kite singgah kt saner jap k hunn~ Love you! :D

the reason behind all these

please mind my words this time

2009-02-26T13:22:00.000+08:00

This post will be a big rant from me. Im letting it all out regarding my major project. Im sorry I made a mistake in continuing my work in my company. I shouldn’t have choosen that path. All I want is to get away from programming and I thought this is the solution to it but it proved me wrong. I still had to do programming here and how I wish I had a partner to work with me. I started to learn my style of working. I don’t do work alone. I am a team player. Working in a team, collaborate with people’s idea and plan to make things will go as plan. This is how I work. Now the situation is getting intense. Like you people know. I MUST complete a task by Friday and if I don’t, I’m not going to graduate on time. Yah and I’m already leaning towards that path and preparing for the worst. I’m left with 1 day to complete a work? Impossible I tell you.

I’ve done my phucking best of the best in completing it. Can someone please suggest me what to do? Or how to complete it with 1 day left? With no guidance, no help, no knowledge on it. Asking my colleagues around and my friends are as good as nothing. Sheesh, they assigned to do this but they don’t even know a phucking way to do. And whats more, when I need help from them, they said, they cannot help. It is for my own good. A sense of achievement when I complete it. Yeah my own phucking good. All I want is to graduate on time and moving on to my next journey which is my NS life. I don’t want to finish my NS in like 24 years? My career would be gone and need to work a lot harder to achieve my goals. I’ve tried asking my reliable friend for the help but he seems too busy with his stuff. Its really unfair for me. First of all, no help. Even though there are answers in the internet, but it seems different results from what they are doing. Secondly, I’m all alone. A-L-O-N-E. Phucking alone.

I understand they need this task to be up but they don’t even know how it works and they expected me to complete it? Please, I need some life. I’ve been working on troubleshooting this task for weeks and nothing seems to be working. I’ve been sleeping at least 2am in the morning almost every night trying to figure out what is the phucking problem. And the back of my head is getting more pain by each day. I think this is due to stress.

I’m juggling a number of work here and they want that exact work to be done. And what’s more, the school is on the same side as my company. “I’m giving you a chance to complete it by end of this month to make sure you graduate on time” Oh phuck them. I feel isolated with no one to turn to (in terms of the phucking task) I’m all alone here with burdens on my shoulder.

I know I cannot easily give up. But there is such thing in life My will is still there, to fight till the very end. It’s not over till its over. But 1 day to fight for my future can be quite immense and I’m starting to lose my breath over it. I’m a victim for my own actions. Now, I shall rely on God for my next step. I hope he won’t disappoint me this time.

gee man

2009-02-23T22:16:00.003+08:00

Okay. Was bloghopping earlier during lunch time and I saw this personality test. Gee. I wonder how they conclude my personality just by that small test. And mind you. The result was close to the truth of me. http://www.goldinuniverse.com

Name: Amirhaziq bin Hussain
Date: 2/22/2009
Colorgenics Number: 42165307

You are always alert and keenly observant. You are not truly satisfied with your everyday status and you are seeking fresh avenues which can give you the opportunity to prove your worth. You feel that there are still many barriers that stand between you and recognition - but one by one you will overcome them. Your tenacity is your one good point - like an English Bulldog, once you take the bite, you will seldom let go.

You are lazy - you dream of a peaceful, calm, uncluttered and uncomplicated life. Your ideal would be to share a permanent base with some person or persons who would be able to demonstrate on-going love, peace and security.

It is hard for you to accept that your needs and desires are misunderstood by almost everyone within your sphere of influence and there is no one to rely on. Your pent-up emotions and inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offence, but as matters stand you realise that you'll have to make the best of things as they are.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!

my only one

2009-02-22T02:51:00.009+08:00

Now I don't know what to blog. School's giving me pressure. They said I have to complete one more task till the end of this month. Shit la its like I'm left with 1 more week to complete. Please I wanna get away from school asap. Be with the one I love. Thats school. S-U-C-K-S [!]

Family matters? Dad, you disappoint me twice already. I'm pissed with you now. You don't even trust me now. How can I build that bonding with you? You said I'll do drugs? You tickle me for a while just now. You're getting old you know, so don't worry much about me. I'm going 21 just in case you forget (I bet you forget my age). I know whats right and wrong and TRUST ME please can or not??!! Sheesh

Anyway, I had fun today. Seriously. With my love one. My only one. Even tho today was different than other days (you know what I mean, our secret haha), I still had fun with you and I'm touched that you force me to go home while I was chilling out wit my friends. I need someone who cares for me and always be there for me and you're the one that I'm looking for. I want to make our relationship the best and meaningful for us. Don't worry about me, I wont break those promises we made. But you know, I keep on worrying about you than myself.

Sofie <3
I will never let you fall.
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all.

Cause your my whole heart, my true love
and please don't throw that away.
Cause I'm here always for you

Please don't walk away and,
Please tell me you'll stay with me

A new chapter. A new beginning.

2009-02-15T20:17:00.008+08:00

So this is LOVE eyy. This is the feeling that I've been chasing for 6 years. To be in a relationship and all stuff. Yes, get me. Im in a relationship with Nur Sofieyana bte Muhammad Ismaeil.

Let me tell you something. When I first saw you, I knew that your the one I'm looking for. When I first look into your eyes, my heart telling me that I need you. And then I fell in love with you. I know your having some bad experience before this and people like you don't deserve this. I want you to smile with me. Smile from the heart and not just facial expression. Facial expression tells a different thing. You smile, I smile. Deal? If you don't smile, I'll still try to make you smile, even a tinge.

Please don't stress yourself now. You might be worrying over your papers that you might flunk it. Its not your fault anyway. Remember when I told you that we'll go through thick and thin together? This will be our first test. I love you.

Okay. This is extreme rare. I've never been in such loving2. hahah.. But this is my blog right. I have the rights to say anything. So if you got any problems with me or Sofie or even OUR relationship, just go and phuck youself. Im staying with her..

i'll be there for you

2009-02-07T23:57:00.000+08:00

I know its kind of messy now. I might not know the whole situation well enough but I would wish to. Only you possess the answer to this whole situation.

I want to take you there like yesterday.
I want to be there tomorrow
And let me take you there like no other day.
This I'll assure you.

swensens and hopes

2009-02-06T00:33:00.014+08:00

Heartbeats pumps, senses grow and feeling escalates.

Its been an extraordinary week for me. Hmm.. Where shall I start eyy. I really don't know what to write seriously. It seems that alot of things running through my mind these few days. Let me first start with someone interesting. heee~ I've been getting home quite late for this week and meeting you was an interesting point to take note. And noOOoo, I don't feel any boredom or 'jelak' everytime we met. In fact, I really enjoyed those moments and hoping it never ends =)

Had dinner together without failed except for the night where you ran into trouble. Okay I'm not going to mention about it. I knew something bad going to happen when you paused. Senses grew. You're not to blame. Its a mistake and we're humans right? Positivie thinking work wonders I tell you.

Anyway, its SWENSENS just now. hahha! Yeah believe me I think its my 3rd step into SWENSEN in my entire life. I know, pathetic right. I'm still waiting for my Seoul Garden [",]

Anyway, just go through with what you have now. Prioritise it.

my analytical theory on LOVE

2009-02-02T00:48:00.003+08:00

LOVE could bring you to the tallest mountain on earth. Love can make your life go round. But I find that LOVE creates a lot of emotions which is one of a kind. Its hard to describe the word LOVE. Some says love is about understanding each other, some say love is everything while others say love is about pleasure. LOVE started from this thing called feelings, and feelings come from a soul heart. However, in order for LOVE to exist, feelings must be in a two way traffic. Thats what I called LOVE.

Sometimes when one soul have feelings for the other gender, he/she tend to be like someone else say Romeo, Juliet or Tom, Dick and Harry. But I don't believe it to be this way. Not for me at least. I prefer to be your ownself towards the other party rather than to be someone who you think you are. Its true the first impression counts but second n third impression are as important as the first one. My second and third impression means like when things started to go aweful, does the person still express the same LOVE affection later? Or does it even matter to even think that he/she is the only one person that you feel the most. Like I said in the beginning. LOVE is feelings from a two way traffic.

Please, I'm not refering to anyone here. Honestly, I have this theory in mind since god knows when. Just that I have not express it until now.

hais

2009-01-30T00:10:00.004+08:00

All I could do is HOPE. HOPE that everything is going to be on my side. But HOPE was never a friend to me. Never in my life. I want answers, GOD. Please don't fail me once more. I'm tired.

FIGHT.FIGHT.FIGHT

2009-01-28T01:23:00.005+08:00

Oh Amir. Please DON'T. Don't just give up now. Its the last lap of your second last journey of life. Come'on you lazy phucker. LAST LAP = LAST CHANCE to excel. You want increase in GPA right? You want to prove your worth right? Why don't you live to what you aimed for? You are a man of your words. You fulfilled every words you said but why hesitant on this? Why?

Oh great, now you telling me theres alot of pressure and what, those projects are tough? Oh hey, life SHOULD be tough. Since when life is easy and carefree? Yah true, it is only when you are young. But you are not getting young anymore, don't you? Life is about competition. Life is about fighting, inner fighting spirit. You just can't stay in this forever. You've got to venture around and challenge yourself to the current world. Its how strong your mindset is now.

And don't you realise that you're building your reputation now? Stick to that company for at least a year and market yourself in the industry. Thats my plan for you, please. Oh I get it, you have high standards but low in willingness. You still want to enjoy life. Ahh. I get it, I understand. Me too

Amir, live to your name. A Prince, a Leader. And yes you will be one.

saying some prayers

2009-01-27T22:59:00.002+08:00

I WANT MY FINAL YEAR PROJECT TO BE GRADED ! I WANT TO GRADUATE ON TIME !

[INSYALLAH]

Conclude.Heated.Melted.

2009-01-26T22:29:00.007+08:00

Let me define whats Chinese New Year is to me. Its a period for a ghost town where all shops are close except for fastfood and muslim hawker centres. Its also a period where you could see alot of Indians in the streets.

Oh, speaking of which, while I was out today, I saw this Indian fella on the floor sleeping. Yes got it?? Sleeping on the floor of BUSTOP like nobody business. You know where the big poster at each of every bustop. Yeah thats where this fella sleep. Only if, my hp was fast enough to take pictures, I would have shown you people. Hilarious I tell you. [hahaha] And the thing is, I don't think he's drunk. Cause just besides him, theres big plastic bags and I think he fell asleep while on the way to his hostel or something.

Ok back to CNY. I love CNY. Why? Cause I love mandarin oranges. Its small and sweet. [err hahaha] Indulged it while it lasts. Ok gonna stop my post here. I know.

I was mesmerize today. Don't ask me why =))

random thoughts

2009-01-25T01:16:00.007+08:00

The philosophy of runner and chaser is just too influential. The chaser needs to be at the same pace with the runner. Chaser need to come up with a plan or create a PERFECT formula to catch up with the runner. Next thing you know, its not the perfect formulae.

I'm beginning to see the light. POWER BABE! hahahehe!

Well thats the bad side of my job

2009-01-21T21:10:00.003+08:00

I'm going to be one hated person at work in the near future. I was assigned to restrict internet access for this department since they have the access to our customer database. SOoooooo, in few weeks time, they can only visit 18 work-related websites and can visit no other websites. Not even yahoo or google. I'm expecting them to go banging on my table to complain. IM SORRY! I'm just doing my assigned task. heh.

ahhhhhh~

2009-01-20T23:13:00.002+08:00

This is why I don't drink

2009 did not start well

2009-01-13T23:47:00.005+08:00

I won't go to this extend, pls. Maybe I should try throwing lots of 'snowballs' at him.

I don't know whats wrong with me nowdays. Everything seems to be in haywire. I'll find fault in every single thing that came across me. I'll complain, rant and never failed to curse. I even scold and 'phucked' myself for being in this way. Never in my life that I came across this. Come'on la Amirhaziq. This is not Amirhaziq that I know. Amirhaziq I know is one positive person with a colourful attitude. Well, thats what his supervisor told at least.

Oh and did you know that not only me that is talking about you. OUR friends are also talking behind your back. Don't you get what I'm trying to pass the message over these few months? Sheesh

unfair treatment

2009-01-12T22:07:00.002+08:00

Why can't I just live like anyone else?? I'm tired with my own life. *sigh*

Ouch!

2009-01-11T04:00:00.006+08:00

Okay wtf has happened on earth now? Israel attacks, bombing and rising human death. And what more? Woman set fire to husband's genitals?? Ouch I must say. I think some of you have already read this news but I still find it amusing. I feel for that husband. Go get a new fresh genitals. A virgin husband in the making.

*Click here for more*

Thanks

2009-01-11T01:29:00.002+08:00

I've waited for almost 21 years for dad to say "Terima Kasih" (Thank you) to me. It's difficult isn't it?

HOTTIES!

2009-01-10T01:53:00.001+08:00

Phuck. Police came while playing soccer just now and chase us around the neighbourhood. No, not chase means running and shooting at us with their pistols (ok I think that was quite fun. hahaha) but walking to find us while we run and stop at a place most of the time. They never got tired of us huh. hmmm.. But I was tired of them and soooo I went home and went to Tampines alone to get something.

Okay I was damn slack going out just now. Wearing a fbt sleevess shirt (which I usually use it as an inside shirt) and a cardigan. Who cares, its night anyway. Im not meeting someone anyway.

So yeah. Went to NYP open house during lunchtime. Darn. 3 hours break. hahahah! Its friday prayers anyway. So next stop is TP. Hoping to bump into someone I might or might not know. hahha!

Everybody's preparing for NS now and it sucks

2009-01-08T01:41:00.001+08:00

HAKIM! May you have a great time during NS soon. We'll miss you especially NADIRAH =) Don't be scared of all those stories yeh. haha..

the perfect mistake

2009-01-06T20:45:00.005+08:00

It was a beautiful disaster

How I wished it never happened

Finally I admit. My presence was a mistake

Goodbye

p.s. I dont't wanna talk about it.

The truth is, it hurts.

too-much-enjoyment side effects

2009-01-03T15:28:00.004+08:00

(my company's instant messenger)

Ergh! Its been tiring week for me. Starting from last Saturday, I've been going out here and there. Since I'm not working from Monday-Thursday, I thought I could get some rest at home planning for work ahead or do my attachment report. Oh yeah speaking of which, my lecturer called me during work yesterday asking me where's my report. harrrgghhh. I told him I'm too busy with work. Yeah right! I'm not even working back then. So he gave in and allows me to submit it on Monday at 9am. I'll just hope I can finish it by Sunday night. Arghh darn! Im going out later. Hmmm.. Dammit.

Okay what makes me ohsobusy from Monday-Thursday? I went out to meet my friends, went here and there. Okay this may be the peak period. Next thing you know, I'm damn free and bored much. Whats more if I had a car with me. hahha! I drove to Marina Barrage on Thursday with my group of friends. Reach home around 2am and woke up early for work. Nevermind, transportation saved me some time.

Anyway, WORK! harghhhh.. Was away from work since last Saturday till Thursday and I'm feelings hangover. hahaha. I was totally in the holiday mood while working. Stop it Amir! Can you please do the workk? WORK. You can't believe me. I had 6 projects hanging on my shoulder and whats more? Erm, 8-10 weeks to complete it. Waddafark la oiii.. Means around 1 project to complete in 1 week. Ok now believe me. I shall do whats right for me. Till here then, shall return the car to the owner. Yeah I rented it fullstop

p.s. I think I'm going to make a private blog for certain people only. People who I can trust with my daily life. There are some things I don't want the whole netizen to know what I'm thinking or what I'm up to. So yeah. toddles.!

Miss of the year

2008-12-31T15:24:00.004+08:00

MISS OF THE YEAR!

Was viewing my friends facebook account and saw this backtrekking expedition. Phuck la! I missed this trip to Cameron Highland. Darn! I couldn't join the expedition cause my company doesn't allowed me to do so. Its a 1 week expedition 2 weeks into December. Arghhh! I could just imagine myself in one of those pictures. Having fun in the train, making more friends and outdoor camps. Urgh! Why is life so unfair towards me? NEVERMIND! Its already past. Im waiting for the final expedition. The final one in March I tink. Consperm gerek!

Lets get the poops started!

2008-12-29T00:34:00.001+08:00

2008 is ending. Lets forgive and forget for all our mistakes. I've been through quite alot of things during this year. Such as...

This is the year where I first felt appreciated for my birthdays. If you wanna know, I don't celebrate birthdays much but this year is different. Went out with friends and got ourselves wet in public. I mean wet from head to toe. bahhh~

Also, this is the year where I passed my driving license. Failed once and never failed again. Much endurance I've gone through for this part of the journey. My 2nd TP, I paid for all the lessons using my own money and it was a sense of relieve when I passed it. wheeee!

This is the year where I started to feel working as an adult. Attachments send my to working environment. 8.30am-6pm (most of the time) is really dreading moments for me. Unless you have a girlfriend waiting for you at home then life would be much on the happier note. But I'm started to like this company with the exception of the work given. heee. Oh! Not to forget the people there. *Kening naik-naik* hahaahha.

This is the year where I've gone through a number of dates. haha. Hmm. Seriously I can't remember how many this time round but its for you to recall if I shared some of the stories with any of you. hahahah! And yes, another year of singlehood. Im not too bothered about it. It maybe worrying bu No woman, No cry bebeh.

This year is the first time I cycled for a very long distance. From Jalan Tenaga to Boat Quay and back home. Tiring la oiii. =)) (Please kindly refer to the post below below)

This is also the year where I lost one of my close friends. He decided to choose another company of friends and neglect us. Sad la but being me, I don't care. Its his life and I don't bother people's life.

Hmmm truthfully, there are other moments that I wanted to mention but the list would never ends. I guess that my life is quite boring yet interesting. Hmmm. Let you be my guess. THATS 2008 AT LEAST! =))

Destination: Esplanade

2008-12-27T14:11:00.005+08:00

It was phucking tired. Okay best, we decided to do some cycling here and there. From Jalan Tenaga to ECP to Boat Quay to Esplanade and back to Tenaga. Phew! It was the first time for us to cycle all the way to central and we made it safely there. Yea yea call me/us crazy or what, I love adventure. Im a kind of sporty person. Sorry yeah =) hahah. Initially we just wanted to go to ECP to slack out but seems like the night is still young and off we go! to central area. HAHAAH! Okay, was kind of fun going there but the journey back was kind of ermmm bleargh! Was around 1am and cycling? I rather sleep. hahahah! Lazy is the word. heeeeeeee

Ok GTG. Going to bathe and going out! Yeh bebeh!

flings

2008-12-23T20:55:00.004+08:00

I'm not talking about knowing each other

I'm talking about feelings

retards

2008-12-20T09:10:00.003+08:00

Kind of retarded but its retarded moments are fun to watch right? hahha! I like the part where all three shake their head at this particular part of the song. Next time when I'm driving, can we do this? Pretty please? HAHAHA!

melayu boleh [!]

2008-12-20T08:39:00.005+08:00

Read yesterday's newspaper and theres two top MALAY student for 'N' Levels. I shall say I'm happy for them. At least there are MALAYs' out there achieving something in the society. Well, if I'm not wrong, one of them got 7 points. I think! (Correct me if I'm wrong) 7 points to be the top MALAY student and got into the press?? Then what about me?? They obviously forgotten about this TRUE MALAY DUDE here [hahahahahah!] I got 5 points previously and no cameras or public media came to me. I know sad right? hahahahahah

I'm glad that slowly the MALAYS are achieving something in life. No please don't "terasa" with what I said. I'm not poking anyone here. Anyway, it takes a lot of courage to achieve such an achievement. You NEED to sacrifice some of your usual habits like playing soccer, going out with friends and enjoyment. Thats what I did for my N's n O's. Endurance, presevere and tolerance for that period of time. But when they were over, ALL VIRGINITYs BREAK LOSE! huahahah. nahhh.. Going out, enjoy life, work here and there. Earn money and spend money a lot.

But I don't understand why can't I sacrifice like I used to do. The lure to lazying around is just too great to turn down. I hate being me, cause I'm one phucking lazy to even do the smallest thing on earth. How I wish I could forget all those and achieve what I want. Well, at least blend both together into one.

Oh! If you're wondering why I'm awake at this time, it's not that I can't sleep or what but I went for a morning jog at my area. YES, get me? J-O-G

Yuna Deeper

2008-12-18T23:32:00.003+08:00

Is your favourite colour blue?
Do you always tell the truth?
Do you believe in outerspace?
Im learning you

Is your skin as tanned as mine?
Does your hair flow sideways?
Did someone took a portion of your heart?
And Im learning you

And if you dont mind
Can you tell me
All your hopes and fears and
Everything that you believe in
Would you make a difference in the world
I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me

I let my guard down for you
And in time you will too

I'm lying

2008-12-16T21:40:00.005+08:00

I keep telling myself that I don't need a woman. I know I'm bad at lying. But theres something in me that tells me to keep on preservere.

Yes, I still think that I don't need one right now.

Attackkkkkkkkk!!

2008-12-14T23:22:00.006+08:00

Weekend was SPLENDID! Went out in the evening to meet someone. hahahah! Went home straight to Hakim house ard 11. Waterbomb-ed till 6am Sunday. HAHAHAHAHA! We created our very own Zoukout at Tenaga-Damai. And I was in a hot hot heat quarrel with this friend. Its been long since I shouted angrily at a person. Everyone was in a state of shock when I voice out. So yeah, we were walking, running and hiding and attacking in the early morning. Macam org giler. Haiya don't know how to explain. You guys need to play the game. Being a kid just for a day won't do any harm right? Wait, Im still young, so why bother? haha

Soooooo went home to have a gooood rest until 1130am and off I go to be the kendarat for the freaking first time. hahaha! With my friends of course, I don't want to be all alone carrying plates unless its a part time job. Well, surprisingly bump into some of my friends. hahaha. Was totally unexpected. I feel like following the style in the wedding crasher movie. hahah! But hmmmm..

And we chill out playing cards till 10. Tired laaaaaa. bahhhh~ I feel so guilty during the wedding. During all my siblings got married, what I did was NOTHING! I realise how pathetic I was. Didnt wear the same family clothes as my friend was, ignore all the people, only down just to eat. Sorry kakak, abang. Azik sorry okay =)

kinky?

2008-12-11T09:13:00.003+08:00

I brought a boxer to work. No comments please. Nyahhhhhhh

dumb n dumper hahaha.

2008-12-11T00:28:00.003+08:00

Phuck. I accidentally paid my internet bills which cost 178 bucks! I intend to pay 40 bucks but didnt realise that its my internet bills. I thought its the household bills. So I just scanned the bill barcode and key in my bank pin ID to complete the transactions Arghhhhhh! Fug. How I wish I could use 138 $ for something else. ............................................ bahhhhhhhh~

one thing

2008-12-09T23:03:00.005+08:00

One thing I just realise about myself is I'm quite observant. I observe every single moves, thoughts, tone and their mindset if I can. I'll observe to see how they react to such a situation and to see if it affects their facial expression and body language. Sometimes it helps to understand the person better and to know whats the limitation for that person. I'll observe just to understand the person well and to be a great accompany to him/her. Sometimes I would know how highly they think towards me just by how they respond and how they express it in their reply. I think everybody should know this.

[!]

2008-12-07T02:43:00.003+08:00

It was fun fun fun! hahaha! Yes. hope to get more of it yehhh. No worry, its not me that should be asked. I go with the flow. Not turn off okay?

Anw, Im off now. Balik kampong laa oiiiii [!] nyahahah. I think you guys know what I'm looking for when I'm off to Malaysia. Eyah dehhh....

I'll make call when i'm back yaw!

Analyse and a conclusion definitely arise

2008-11-30T20:19:00.009+08:00

I'm scared. I'm scared over what happen to the world these few days, if not years ago. Take a look over what happen. London bombing, Mumbai terrorist and Thailand protestors bombing are enough to shock the whole world. Not to mentioning over the past natural disasters, Tsumani in Indonesia, the Katrina happened few years ago. Almost everyday theres some people died because of disasters, human killing and stuff like those. Terrorist has become daring now as times goes on and they had already outsmart the officers and intellegence with the recent attacks. And todays news, a 16 year old Malay boy was found dead by the beach. The world is at its stake. And what more could have happen tomorrow? Only god knows.

Think and realise the surroundings. THE WORLD IS AT ITS END NOW. It could happen any time from now. Even by the time you manage to read this 'post' of mine. God, we know this is a test from you. We know that the earth is begging you to make it end. But some of us take things for granted. Prostitutes rising, human death escalated, corruption here and there, sins from every angle of our eyes, the poor are getting poorer and the rich are getting richer. These are the signs that its time for us to get together and repent.

I've just watched SAW V and its gruesome, gore and its hell, neraka. The 'game' in the movie prove too much gore that it sets me thinking. In my opinion, those sufferings in the 'game' are rather similiar to the sufferings in hell, neraka. Just fyi, if us, Muslims, didn't pray to god, would get our head being SMASHED by big rocks and then, our head will be reformed and be SMASHED again. A punishment to be in a cycle. So one of the 'games' in the movie, the body was being cut by a sharp pendulum cause he couldn't get the key or something and the person died on the spot. Evil and heartless but its a punishment for evil deeds!

So, what sets me thinking was, is god trying to send us a message by creating this movie and showing the sufferings in the movie and resembling to the neraka's life? Hmm, I would go to the extend that the answer is yes. If I'm not wrong, every year, theres a new sequel to the movie and every year they share the sufferings to the viewers. So every year, he keep on reminding us the punishments that 'sin creater' will received. (I think!)

If this message didn't get into you, you might need to analyse the whole situation well. It might be true and it might be untrue. Correct me if I'm wrong, please.

shoe/slipper?

2008-11-29T16:11:00.002+08:00

Sometimes when we go out, we would ask our friends if they will be wearing slipper (the slip on nike/adidas) or shoe. No one wants to be the odd one out. hahaha! I know kental right. Now im going out soon and they won't let me know what they are wearing. ngahhhhhh~

basket

2008-11-29T00:09:00.006+08:00

Imagine yourself walking in the streets. Yoy took out your coolest media player from your beg. Switched it on and plugged in the earpiece to your ear. You engross yourself with your favourite song and walked like a king across the town and the feel of the music beat. Next thing you know, you found out your boxer was not in the place you want it to be. hahahah! Basket. Uncomfortable journey right?

surviving

2008-11-28T01:08:00.003+08:00

Im starting to realise how influential my mum is. Like how much I missed her cookings. Like how much I miss talking to her. Like how much she used to handle the chores and managing her grandchildren at the same time. Like how she fold my clothes and put them into my wardrobe. Like how she went to the market very early in the morning just to get make breakfast. Like how she complain all the problems to me. Like how she never fails to put on a smile on her face. The list doesn't stops here.

Now I know how it feels when someone's gone, even for a short while. I tell you, she went to my grandma house for a week and we already felt her absence. The house feels empty. Everyone's kind of quiet. I didnt eat much during the night cause theres no much food to eat. My dad's worst. He called her and complain about the house, us and everything -.- . I know dad can't live without mum. He'd be lonely and no one to talk to. Sheesh dad, you need to learn to be independant.

"You tend to take them for granted when they are around but you will realise how much influential they have on you when they are not around"

Unappreciated people still living?!

2008-11-23T01:04:00.004+08:00

Oh fuck you! What wrong more I did until you react to this way??!! Your the worst of all the people I know. Ok if thats what you want, then let it stays that way. Im not turning back and neither do you! So you think its right to do so ayy? Im off. Im tired of all this shit. Goodbye forever. Scumbag!

REPLIESSSSSSSS!!

2008-11-22T20:06:00.002+08:00

Sorry if I didnt reply earlier. Wait. Why should Im being sorry? But everyone does that.

to sue: psl the yg mintak kene ckit. Dier keje tmpt aku tuh. Menyampah tgk dier. Buat sacarstic yet lame jokes to me. Mintak kene leseng dpd aku. haha

to naq: aah la.. tibe2 lupe longkang in eng ape. longkang bnyk. drain tk tau. k tkper. tk phm kan. haha. pentas amcm? ader nmpk haziq tk?

to mamat scofield: bgus la gitu eh. aku nyer tagboard buat mcm interface to reply to sue. kalao da tkle tag kt fizah nyer blog, tunggu balik rumah baru tag la hahaha.

to anisyh: bullcrap? lol.

to all: HELLO!

oh okay

2008-11-22T18:49:00.003+08:00

So all the hoohahh, I've decided to continue my attachment for another 10 more weeks after Christmas. So basically about 14 weeks more of working. Just 14 more weeks. Patience eyy, I've survived 5 months of attachment, why can't I survive for another 10 more weeks?

I know I can handle it. Its a sacrifice Im taking over here. Which means no free time, no wake up late, not meeting friends and finally, no eyecandy-ing in school =D On the flipside, I'll get paid, I'll gain experience. Actually, the company also need me for help on my current project.(but for minor help only) I know this is going to be hard for me but going back to school with lecturers down to my throat and I have no clue on how to progress on the major project? Its a nono. Im not prepared for it.

how i wish

2008-11-17T12:06:00.005+08:00

K that person is on my nerves now. How I wish I could punch his face and kick his arse. Then I would cover his mouth with a cloth or some duct tapes and tie his hands and leg. Push him into a drain and there he goes. Or better still, get a gay to 'cocok' him.

ngahhhhhhhhhh~

TIRED[!]

2008-11-16T23:27:00.003+08:00

Im freaking tired now. Today was about Sundays classes and soccer. Played balls from 4-6 and thought could get some rest after that but nooo! Friends called and asked to play frm 8-10.. Right after finish the first one off I go to the 2nd one. Had only a lunch for the day and only to find out there no much food to eat. SOOOO I made fried rice! YEs fried rice la babay! (perencah packet nyer la..hahaha!) Now I'm full and tired.

Wait, I heard someone calling me, [oh!] its my heavenly made bed for me! nyahahaaha.bye.

not again..

2008-11-12T23:25:00.003+08:00

Ok another decision I have to make here. Darn, why am I so indecisive? I have to choose either helping out my friends sister wedding or going to cameron highland for trekking. Received a msg from my ex cca mates in TP regarding this expedition. Trekking there for 1 week laaaa oooiiiii [!] I just love nature. The last time I went expedition was to Mount Ophir. Ok some of you went already but it was the first time for me. No offense to myself. hahaha! I badly wanted to go to nature but it all depends on my company if they let me off for 1 week. That 1 week is the last week of my attachment (which is the last week of the year) Yikes! Sweating over it now.

Anyway, that 1 week of trekking was the week where I need to help my friends sister wedding. What a conincidence -.- Same situation, I badly wanted to do this cause all my friends coming over. Overnight at our area. Who hates it right? We chill out, have fun chatting or whatsoever. Furthermore they are going NS soon. So that might be the last time I'll hung out with them.

Darn. I tell you. Life is full of decision. I know its just a small matter, but I want both. What a timing.

babubabu-ji

2008-11-10T00:26:00.003+08:00

AND fuck la! Working tmr. 7 more weeeksss to go and I'm back to schooll[!] happy like fuck! Please let time be on my side. Oh! Can I have a lunch date with that hot tp intern? Just a lunch date. Nothing more. =}

wujuds the us

2008-11-10T00:05:00.003+08:00

Friend: Eh kau nk tgk citer wujud 2? (you want to watch wujud 2?)

Me: Ok ah. Sembarang. Ngan sape? Kat maner? (anything ah, with who? where to watch?)

Friend: Kat rumah kau ah (at your house la)

Me: Siooll jer.. Tgk kt mok nyer studio ah (Wtf, we watch it at mok's studio ah)

Friend: Ok best. Aku call dier. (Ok best. I call him)

In the end the DVD was spoilt. hahaha! But I thank god it can't be played. That jamming studio is one hellova creepy place. Nevermind watching this scary show, Wujud 2. Scarrryyy oiiiii [!] That studio was quite a creepy place as my friend [mok] experience something that happened to him. I even felt insecure when I reached there. It seems like theres something going on in that area. Anway, we played this dare game where me n my friend had to be in the studio for 3 minutes and find our slippers within the area. Adding things worst, theres no lights and no fucking way you can see anything. Oh well, god knows better. =]